Triathlon Hell Part Deux

Oh yeah..that's the stuff right there! Armani wants me to be an underwear model for them. Okay I kid, I kid. Just a regular old model :-) Okay, I kid again.

T2 running. Just look at those arms! didn't see that before did ya! Well now it's all gone so ha! Oh wait...that's a bad thing huh?

Ms. Denise and I at the beach...moments before hell broke loose, we had some calamity and peace of mind to take it all in. Deep breath....

Dunno how many quarts of Gatorade I dumped on msyelf but the Gatorade marketing team would be happy

Marking...triathletes live for it, white clothes die by it. Not nearly as cool as it's meant out ot be but man look at those legs!

H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T!!!!

it's been a while hasn't it honey? Oh wait...gotta stop addressing the readers as such...:-)

Yes, it's been a while..yes, I left you hanging and yes, I survived. Whew. A cheesy apology won't suffice, so instead, I'll start by saying I've been "busy" reading up on a potential new career path as a DBA [look this one up], riding my bike, NOT swimming [my arms have now retracted to their usual stick-figure shape], running sometimes and enjoying the fruits of chocolate soy pudding. Mm mmmm...just think of a regular ole snack pack sans the cruelty and exploitation!

I was gone for so long, the war on terrorism even came to an end...heh...bad joke. I kid. No but seriously...I was gone so long, JERRY BROWN's lead hit double digits and furthermore, Thor Hushovd won the world championships, The OAKLAND RAIDERS spanked the Broncos [59-14 for all you Donkey fans] AND the SF Giants are going to the world series? In other strange and bizarre news, I need to talk about my traithlon experience.

And so without delay, let's cut to the chase.

THE SWIM - I was positioned in the group of death, age-group 20-29..full of newbies [me], pro's and wise cracking leperchans. yep..that bad. We were set to start at 8:30 but the fog came down on a chilly Santa Cruz morning. Then, at 8:45, we got the go-ahead and get in the water. Gun goes off...let's get this party started. For the next 29 mins, I'm in a washing machine full of men, punching, kicking, gouging and flailing their arms everywhich way in a desperate attempt to swim 1.2 miles around a pier and back to the beach. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I made it to the top of the second group and thought a) I'm not going to drown and b) I'm in pretty good position. Bam, out of the water, half the wetsuit around my waist and I'm off to my first transition.

T1 - FAIL. I forget where I racked my bike. Classic traitha-newbie mistake...I blow 2 minutes just looking for the damn thing. Quickly put on the specialized ass-beaters, helmet, spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

Bike - This was interesting. I had a number in mind...I was going to wind it up to 280 watts for the first couple of miles, then ratchet that beezy to 300 and chill out for the rest of the way. Somehow though, I ended up sitting around 280 most of the time and was very very conscious of pacing. Truth is, cycling is only one sport before running. Let's not forget I need to drop the bike and then run my vegan ass for 6 miles at a fast pace. Realzing that I could make up LOADS of time on the run, I settled into a 280 pace and basically lollygagged it in, taking in the sights of Davenport, CA. Interestingly, I saw the same rear ends for most of my ride. They would race past me on the flats [easily pushing over 320 watts] and then slow to a crawl on a hill...this is where I'd catch em...and then rinse wash and repeat. Nice guys, I think?

T2 - In a painstakingly slow 1 hr and 11 mins, I drop the bike for T2. Stupid slow, I know...but I was saving that for the transition and run. I dropped the bike, unzipped the tri-top, threw on the Nike LunaRacer shoe and set out to take names....

The Run - Not ONCE was I passed on the run. Instead, I passed some 30+ people, mostly men in their 20s and 30s who had that 'Im-no-tri-newbie-douchebag' look to them. I kept chugging along and kept passing people, always bowing my head and giving respect to oncoming runners. Around mile 4, things started to hurt...I was tired but most of all, I was hungry. I wanted something besides GU and electrolyte drink. It was hot too..90 degrees in Santa Cruz and of course, I'm wearing all black. Nice Alex, nice. But I do the run in a respectable time @ a 6:14 pace and finish 79th overall, 7th in class for my first Triathlon.

All in all, a gut-bursting experience...very exhilirating at first, my thoughts are that triathletes really really know how to pace themselves well. Because really, it's 3 sports in one event and you need to know your threshold and limit. I had no expectations I knew I couldn't place so I wen't for experience and all I have to say to any triathelte is: "CHAPEAU!"

Stay tuned for the ensuing carnage that happened at Cafe Saturn [vegan cafe] and my thoughts on triathlons in general....thanks for keeping the faith...I'm back. It's the offseason so expect regular posts from me as we head into hibernation.

Much love and respect,

Alex